I created this blog because I’ve learned something the hard way: when I’m unwell, the people I love tend to pull away and the white suits and emergency services come rushing for me, arrest me, lock me away and then when I’m well enough I’m set free to the community. It hurts my family and bleeds the system, when my family are gone for too long, I slip again. It’s a painful loop.
Why I’m Sharing This
So I’ve built this space for my family and friends — and for anyone else who wants to walk alongside me. Whether I’m having a good day or a really tough one, this is where you can quietly check in on me, anytime you like. No pressure, no awkward phone calls, just my honest updates.
Being Open About It
I won’t lie to you — I’m slightly uncomfortable about how much detail I’ll be sharing about my healing process. But I hope the honesty and commitment to this blog brings me some accountability, helping me stay focused and well.
Living with Schizoaffective Disorder
I’ve been carrying this psychiatric illnesses since I was 18, and I’m now 46 and have a permanent diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder (SAD) is a lifelong ailment to manage. SAD is schizophrenia with bipolar — so I experience both the mood swings of mania and deep depression, plus psychotic symptoms that can happen even when my mood is stable. It distorts my reality so much it feels like I’m living in a parallel universe, and I do and say things that push family and friends away.
Why This Blog Matters
This blog is my way of staying connected even when I’m struggling. It’s my daily record of what I’m healing from, the supports, tools and techniques I use, and the small steps that make a difference.
My Professional Support
I’m currently under the care of my local Mental Health Centre. I have my own psychiatrist and case manager who check in on me every 4–6 weeks via telehealth because I live rurally. They make sure my medications are working and my moods stay stable so I can stay out of hospital. I’ve had many admissions — sometimes just a week or two, but if the meds aren’t right it can stretch to months.
My Promise to Change
When it comes to my mental health hospital admissions some have been my own fault, stress related, or tied to anniversaries or birthdays, when I’m feeling alone, or simply because the medications stopped working.
It costs an awful lot of money to keep someone like me well and in the system, the hospital visits really take it’s toll on society to keep someone in that level of care, and that weighs on me heavily.
I want to change, I no longer want to be a burden on society (not that I ever wanted to be in the first place). I want my family, friends and community to feel safe around me, and I want to be seen for the right reasons — to contribute, not just survive.
If you’re reading this, thank you for being here. I hope this becomes a gentle bridge back to the people who matter to me, and helps me stay well for longer.
Welcome to my blog Everyday Healing @ www.wellnessbms.com